Truth about Appreciation

It is not easy to remember to share.  Often times our thoughts tend to be about what to do now, what needs to be done, who to pick up, or what to cook, etc.  Then, add the emotional complexity of our thoughts as we try to navigate our relationships, our personal concerns with self, and the anticipation of things yet to unfold.

Truth is, appreciation is sometimes (if not all the time) one of the last things we think about.  Oh, it is all over positive psychology studies and the new age/self-improvement stuff that expressing appreciation, being grateful, and having an attitude of gratitude is good for us.  So, what happens when we forget?  Do we add another tail to the whip we already beat ourselves with?  Each time we use it saying something like, "I should be more grateful.  I should tell others how I appreciate them.  I should be more positive." 

What happens to us emotionally once we start this whipping scene?  I don't know about you, but I begin to feel pretty much like crap.  I feel a shade of guilt (though this would be a personal thing - everyone is different.) and next thing I know - I have wandered down some hallway of shadow that whispers something to the tune of, "I am not good enough.".  And, then doubt, about things that range from east-to-west, tickles my core of confidence.  In the end, I just plain feel ... plain.  Nothing worth rejecting, but nothing worth acknowledging either. 

Let it go.  Just let it go.  Let the thought go that you 'should be all positive', 'should have an attitude of gratitude' and 'should feel grateful all the time'.  Alright, I can already hear you, "But, how will that help me?  How will I become a better person?  How will that inspire me/remind me to acknowledge others?"  I mean, let the sense of 'should' go.  Because when you don't do what you 'should' - don't you feel guilt, or bad?  How can something that brings you wonderful gifts of light, happiness, peace and harmony be felt, or seen, if you are focused on whipping yourself? 

Instead of the negative, try this:  Simply post reminders where you look a lot (such as, the fridge door, the bathroom mirror, the car dashboard, your lock screen on your phone, etc.).  Gently say, "well ... you may not have caught that moment, but you will catch the next one.  Trust your instinct/feeling to do something."  While sitting at a stoplight, or in traffic, think about all the things that evoke a smile (such as: your puppy, that moment when your child did something that made you laugh so hard, the joke someone told the other day, that loving moment that still makes you blush, etc.).  

Point is, put down the whip.  We are human.  We are not perfect and not put together all that well.  My encouragement would be, don't tell yourself what you should do, just create reminders of what you want to do.