"It makes me feel invisible... "

My car points towards the curve of the on-ramp for I-5S and I see a clear path to accelerate and let the V6 engine live a little, when I notice a couple standing in a 'not-too-convenient' spot off the road waiting (hoping) someone will pick them up.

Not quite knowing why - I pull over and roll down the window, "Where you going?" the other woman and I ask each other simultaneously.  "Albany," we both reply.  "I'll pop the trunk for your stuff." I extend.

As the couple clamber in we introduce ourselves and I learn their names are Barbara and Paul.  Barbara has appropriately chosen the front passenger seat and Paul has chosen the back.  Paul comes across as a very calm and quiet sort of man, Barbara seems nervous in a shy sort of way, but very kind.

To ease the discomfort of being strangers, conversation begins.  Yet, Paul just speaks when spoken to while Barbara deflects questions about them to asking questions about me.  As I share what I do and answer her questions with specific stories she begins to share her own.

She is the 2nd youngest of seven kids.  The ages of the youngest and the oldest span almost 20 years.  Her mother was a stay-at-home type who made their food from scratch, made their clothes, and loved baking.  Her mother worked really hard and enjoyed being creative and tried to instill appreciation of the arts into her children.  Barbara grew up in a busy home, but always felt loved.  I never asked and she never conveyed what had brought her to be waiting alongside the road for a ride to some place, but she had something to share about being there.

"When I am on the side of the road and asking for help, I know that people are not able to always help.  Still I will wave and offer an acknowledgement, but you know what - hardly anyone waves back.  That makes me feel invisible and that is such a horrible feeling.  I know I am not invisible."  She was confirming something I noticed just weeks prior.  (Check out that blog HERE)  Being me, I started to cry.

As she talks a question is forming as she tells me over and over about being grateful for everything and I ask permission to share:  "It seems that you are in a place where it can be struggle, or almost a struggle, to take care of your needs.  How does it feel when you observe other people complain about what they do have, or don't have, and they are by all appearances 'better off'?"

For the first time Paul talks, "That can get to me.  But, if I let that thought stick around too long it makes me feel frustrated and feeling frustrated is just negative.  Nothing good comes from being negative.  So I just stop and think of something positive.  When I am positive it always works out." 

Before I move to Barbara I would like to ask you to reread that again...

Did you notice that he did not say, " 'try to' think" - he just 'did'. 

Barbara was honest in a different way.  "I don't like to say this, but it makes me angry.  Most people just don't get it.  Life is not about stuff.  (italics because she emphasized this strongly)  Life is about more than material things."  She takes a deep breathe to try and gain composure before speaking again.  "Life is about relationships; relationships with ourselves, with others.  Life is about love, peace, happiness, appreciation, gratitude, and..."  She puts the hands that have been forcefully emphasizing what life is about back into her lap and tries to regain peace, while yet - she seems so moved by this that it has awakened the evangelist spirit within her.

After a moment she quietly says, "I see people drive past me and I can tell that they are not always able to help me with a ride.  They have a full car, they have kids, they have too much stuff in the car, but you know - when I see a single driver in a big SUV and they won't even look at me...  it makes me angry.  I want to be positive like Paul.  I just don't like how people are so focused on stuff."  She says the last part like it was a bitter pill that dissolved in her mouth before it could be swallowed.  "Be grateful.  Be grateful for everything."

When I dropped them off at the funeral for their friend I drove away unsure who blessed whom - me for helping with their need for a ride or them, for sharing and affirming what my heart needed to hear.